Day 26 - Los Angeles lifts its vaccine mandate. A vax card is no longer required.

At Fed-Ex today, before class, trying to solve my “purple-paper” problem…

4/25/22. Monday

8:00-8:30 -Houston, we have a problem. Full disclosure-due to my poor planning, I ran out of white copy paper last week and had to print three Specialty 1B Class papers on purple paper, the only paper I had available. BUT, when I try to scan them to the students, they scan as illegible black blobs - it’s impossible to make out my edits or their papers. Last night, I COPIED a page from one of the papers, then scanned it again, but this time it scanned as an illegible gray blob. Also, this is costing me a fortune in ink as the entire page is black. Although I’m extremely pressed for time, somehow I will have to go to FedEx-Kinkos, BEFORE my 2:30 class, and try to lighten the exposure using their copy machines. Then, I’ll try to rescan the papers from my house tonight.

I’m already running late…

9:00-9:15-I lay in bed, thinking about the above. Today is going to be a stressful day and I don’t want to face it. I’m up and my eye is very red and throbbing. More eye drops. I finally make it downstairs, where the dog is still asleep. I rub her tummy three times and then we go outside so she can go potty. Return inside and coffee for me; cheese for her. I go to work.

9:15-12:00-I finished grading most of the papers last night so I start scanning the graded papers in preparation for tonight’s return via email. Previously, I printed out three extra credit assignments from my highschoolers on purple paper so I re-print them on white paper now.

-In between, I briefly check my new, fully ONLINE class at College No. 2 to see how the students have fared with their first assignments of the semester. Then, I compare those students who submitted assignments to the Discussion Board, to see if they signed in on the first day, which they were instructed to do. I send nasty emails to the students who STILL haven’t signed in on the Discussion Board, in defiance of my instructions, informing them that they will be dropped as No Shows if they don’t sign in immediately. I listen to The Daily.

-I check email at College No. 2.

-I finish scanning the papers for Specialty Class 1B.

-I check email at College No. 1. Two students can’t make class and requested that I email them 3 quizzes by the end of the night. great.

-The saga continues regarding ONLINE and F2F classes at College No. 1. Recall that only Dr. R. and San Francisco are assigned fully ONLINE classes, even though they are the only two teachers who are NOT teaching a F2F class, in violation of our College President’s “50/50 Rule” [50% of your class load must consist of a F2F class]. I saw the schedule and pushed back against it, emailing my Dean and asking why Dr. R and San Francisco are exempt from teaching a F2F class. I finally receive an email from my Dean, today, providing a bullshit explanation. He says, “If you only teach ONE class, you do NOT have to teach a F2F class.” Really.

My Dean is a liar and I won’t stand for it. I email the Dean and request to “bump” Dr. R and/or San Francisco, well in advance of Fall Semester 2022 [it starts in August]. This time, nobody’s going to tell me I tried to “bump” too late. I also demand MY OWN fully ONLINE course.

-I post course content for my 2:30 class.

12:15-1:00-Quick shower, but I still have time to ice my eyes because they really need it. Lotion. Sexy Librarian outfit. I pack up everything and leave for FedEx - I’m out the door by 1:10.

1:10-1:35- I spend this time desperately trying to turn the purple copies to white so I can scan them legibly to the students. It’s not working very well, but I do my best and end up spending $10.00 on copies. Staff continue to mask at this location - none of the customers do.

1:35-2:35- En route to College No. 1 to teach ONE student in my F2F class. I eat turkey meatballs along the way and some of the cornchip chocolates that M. gifted me. I listen to Be Wealthy and Smart and Marketplace Morning. When I get into College 1’s town, I put my makeup on at the signals.

2:35 - Class is in session. I walk into class 5 minutes late and nobody is there. What a relief! I start grading an extra credit paper from one of my highschoolers.

-I check email. At 2:40, the last F2F student standing, emails me if we are having class today. Yes, dumbass. Why would today be any different? TAKE THE CLASS ONLINE!!! In accordance with College No. 1’s policy on Hybrid-Synchronous classes, I explain that I’m here every Monday, from 2:30-5:35 but it is the student’s choice whether or not to appear F2F, in a brick-and-mortar classroom [happy face emoji]. LOG IN ONLINE!!! YOU’VE DONE IT BEFORE!!

-At 3:00, thirty minutes after class started, the student actually shows! I cannot for the life of me understand why this student keeps showing up to a brick and mortar when NOBODY is here! I gave up lecturing weeks ago. Play the tape! “We need more cowbell.” The student sits at her desk listening to my recorded lecture for the next 70 minutes while I grade the last two papers from my Specialty 1B Class and periodically press the button to advance the Google slides.

At 3:45, I play the documentary for the student and return to grading papers, but this time I start working on the extra credit assignments from my highschoolers. As the documentary rolls on, I post an Announcement for next week’s Final for my 6:00 class.

At 4:45, the student decides to leave early. It’s unclear why she came in the first place. She wants to know if she has to come to class next week to take the Final. No, you dumb bitch. You’ve never been required to come to this class.

When all is said and done, there are 10 students left after thinning the herd. Two of the ten students got Fs. The OSD student - the one who kept coming to class - is in the running for a high B. This is the only student I care about. I don’t need any trouble from the OSD Dept. The rest of the students can go to hell.

5:00-6:00 - I leave early although class is still in session online and the students are currently taking the Video Quiz. Driving and I listen to the Doubleshift and eat apple slices and almond butter.

6:00-7:00- Bookclub!! Anne and Alice return and the bookclub increases to FIVE! We have a great discussion of Digital Minimalism! Spoiler Alert: Next month, the head librarian will inform us that the bookclub has been canceled. No explanation is provided and my last meeting with these people will be on 5/23/22.

Class is in session, but it’s online and running on autopilot.

7:00-7:30-I drive home.

7:30-9:00-Class started at 6:00 so I jump out of the car and log in to make sure everything is going well. The students are watching a documentary right now and there are no problems.

I scan the last two papers that I graded during my 2:30 class. Then, I try scanning the new copies that I made at Fed Ex. It doesn’t work. The copy quality is too light and the papers are still illegible. The moral of this story: don’t print on colored paper.

I email the remaining papers to the other students [recall that there are only 3 papers that I printed on purple paper] and post their grades the last half of class. Two of my favorite students email me and say how much they liked the class and how much they will miss me. These were the only two students who made the class worthwhile. The remaining 13 students bitched and moaned about everything else. For the amount of work I put in preparing the Canvas shell, recording lectures, completing extensive paperwork, having to report to work EVERY Monday, from 6:00-9:00, in order to abide by College No. 1’s draconian rules even though the class is fully ONLINE, the measly money I made for this class wasn’t worth my time and effort. I’ll need to do a calculation of my hourly wage some day, when all is said and done. It probably shakes out to $2.00 an hour.

I email the 3 students with the purple papers and tell them my scanner broke and that I will email their papers to them tomorrow afternoon. I don’t know how this is going to happen since every solution I’ve tried has failed. I will have to talk to L.

One of the students I hate - “the worst writer I’ve ever had” - continues to email throughout the class about stupid shit, like “I can’t post on the Discussion Board”…and then he posts on the Discussion Board. Or, “What will the Video Quiz be on?” and then he takes the Video Quiz. See syllabus, asshole. Tonight is the last class so I blessedly ignore him.

9:00-11:00-Class dismissed. I switch to my fully ONLINE class at College No. 2 to see how my students’ fared on their assignments. All assignments for the week were due last night [Sunday at midnight].

I make a chart of students who did NOT bother to complete the quizzes and a chart of those students who got Ds and Fs on the quizzes. Then, I send nasty emails accusing them of not watching the documentary and asking them to advise why they scored so poorly. I know why - they didn’t bother to watch the video. No! If you don’t watch the documentaries or listen to the podcasts, I’m going to drop you from the class for failing to “actively participate.”

If a student got a D or F on a Chapter Review Quiz, that means they guessed on their responses. No!! You’re going to actually put some work into this class, or I’ll drop you. I “innocently” ask what services they might need through College No. 2 [because if you’re getting an F on a Chapter Review quiz you need help] and “threaten” to set them up with weekly meetings with a Learning Center Counselor, which nobody wants to do. Don’t con a con. Do the work assholes!

10:00-10:30-L. surfaces and I explain the purple paper problem. She screen shots the papers and emails them to me to my account at College No. 1. L. says I can forward the emails to the students as screenshots and they will be able to read my comments. I guess between the two of us, L. and I can solve anything.

10:30-11:00- I manually create a Chapter Review Quiz for one of my students from Specialty Class 1B and hit send. I also email him the Video Quiz. This kid was late to class every Monday because of his college golf matches and missed the last class entirely - I hated him. He thanks me for emailing him the chapter and video quizzes. I don’t respond.

I log off.

11:00-12:00 - Kitchen duty and I prepare my lunch bag for tomorrow. I set my Filofax out on the counter in preparation for tomorrow’s highschool class.

12:00-12:45 - Nighttime routine. Bed. I listen to Crime Junkie and I set my alarm for 5:30 am.