Day 28-BA5 takes the lead

Hiked at Whitney Canyon today…

7/19/22. Tuesday

4:30-L. leaves for her shift at The Club.

6:00-6:15-My alarm goes off and I lie in bed for transition time, until the dog starts licking my hands. This the cue to get out of bed.

6:15-6:30-I take the dog downstairs, we go outside so she can go potty, and then it’s time for her treat (cheese). Coffee for me. I go upstairs.

6:30-7:30-Shower and I ice my eyes and listen to The Daily. Lotion. Light make-up. I wear biking shorts, a tank top, and the new hiking shoes that I recently purchased. I bring my Fedora because the sun is relentless - after 9:00 am, it is so hot here, in Valencia. I make a packet of instant oatmeal and I’m out the door by 7:30. I eat my oatmeal in the car.

7:30-8:00-My hiking group is scheduled to hike Whitney Canyon (at the end of Newhall Avenue).

8:00-9:30-I’m on time and we hike the shady parts of the canyon. The last 20 minutes I hike with Renee and Sarah joins us later.

During this part of the hike, Renee (the coordinator for the hiking group) mentions that her husband hates traveling. He’s 6’3” (no leg room wherever they go) but also has a slipped disk. BUT, Renee says regardless of his physical constraints, he’s always hated traveling.

Renee says her husband is a real estate broker. Right before Covid, her husband unloaded all of his real estate clients, then Renee and her husband sold all of their belongings, including their home, so they could move to South Carolina because one of her four sons was “having trouble.” [Renee vaguely refers to her’s son’s failed relationship and an ensuing custody battle over the couple’s little boy, in addition to her son having no job…or was it a dead end job? Can’t recall. I think drugs are involved…]

Unfortunately, this move didn’t seem to work out for Renee and her husband. After a year in South Carolina, they return to California (what a surprise) to…nothing. For the past two to three years, Renee and her husband have been renting a house, while her husband enrolled in classes to become a Social Studies high school teacher. During the course of his curriculum, her husband came to the conclusion that the Mediterranean is the one place he would be willing to travel/visit. I told Renee to book the trip immediately, before he changes his mind (j/k).

I asked if her husband was, now, currently teaching Social Studies. No. Renee says he has a hard time following the rules, especially in light of the fact that he’s older than most of the students and has already done everything discussed in his classes. Renee says when her husband believes issues/tasks can be done more efficiently, and then tells said administrators/supervisors, ‘Hey, you can do this more efficiently”, people don’t want to hear that. No kidding.

Can we say “white patriarchy”? A larger question is, who, exactly, is he telling to “do it better”? This guy’s a 50+-year-old student, embarking on a new career, later in life, but proceeds to tell everyone in the credentialed program, “You’re doing it wrong”, because he thinks he can do it better. Can you take a second to imagine how off-putting this would be, having some white guy who has never taught before, telling HIS instructors that his way is the better way? What a douche-bag!! Honestly, this guy sounds like a ‘Questioner’, the most annoying of the four categories, as defined by Gretchen Rubin’s Four Tendencies book.

I’m sure you’re shocked to hear that the Social Studies pipe dream is dead. Her husband is back to being a broker. He’s also back to coaching high school basketball again, which he did previously for 10 years. He ran into some problems with the coaching a few years ago, though, before their impromptu move to South Carolina, when he wanted to attend his youngest son’s high school BB games, but the school where he was coaching “JV” wouldn’t allow it because it seems his son’s high school games were scheduled at the very time the JV practices were scheduled. Can you believe the hubris of this guy? Because the school “wouldn’t allow him” to miss coaching JV practice, he quit. “It’s not like he made that much coaching high school basketball”, Renee said.

-Renee went onto say that her other son got married and had a child - her first granddaughter - with whom she spent almost every day, during the first two years of her granddaughter’s life. HOWEVER, when her granddaughter turned two, her son and his family moved to Arizona (it’s not clear why). Renee described this move as “devastating.” I parrot this word back to her to show empathy and connection: “That must have been very devastating for you.”

Renee agrees…because she just said it :-). Interestingly, Renee drives to Arizona, ALONE, every month so she can see her granddaughter. Her husband isn’t interested in going, because he hates traveling and he’s got that ‘slipped disk’ problem, but…come on…he’s not bothered by his wife driving seven hours (one way) across a desert ‘tundra’, alone? Anything could happen!

The situation slightly improved after the son in question decided to move to Tulsa. Now, Renee flies, instead of drives, pretty routinely…also alone. Her husband decided to go with Renee during one of her visits, but during the most recent trip, her husband complained most of the time, making comments like, “Why am I doing this? I hate this.” Uh, maybe to see your son and grandson? That’s why you’re doing this. I told Renee it sounds like her husband doesn’t like to suffer in silence but Renee says he ordinarily does.

-Renee’s youngest son received a full ride to play BB at a prestigious college [cannot recall name] but after violating the college’s masking policy [FIVE times], he was suspended indefinitely, in 2020, from campus. Wow - the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Once again, we have douchebag #2 (the son) who thinks the rules don’t apply to him.

The circumstances are as follows: one day, her son was outside, eating lunch with his teammates. None of them were masked because they were eating. One by one, members of the BB team got up to dump their trays and trash, but returned to the outdoor tables, where they continued talking sans masks. According to Renee, her son was the only one who was “targeted” for not wearing a mask [on that day] and he was expelled. Hmmm…maybe because he refused to mask four times previously…??? Renee said that his teammates were also violating the masking policy, but she said her son is good looking and friendly and stood out from the rest because he’s personable.

He sounds like one of those irritating “frat bros”, quite frankly.

Her son returned home, but Renee said this worked out because the college was closed for Covid and nothing was happening on campus anyway. Renee said her son got a job working at a “firm” (she didn’t say what kind of firm) and was doing well during his academic suspension when the college eventually called her son and offered to “honor the last year of his scholarship.” In other words, he was invited to return to college. It sounds like the BB team was not doing well and, when all is said and done, Renee’s son is a pretty good player [“He’s short [6’2”], but he works hard and…he’s reliable”]…except when he refuses to mask...

Her son decided to return to school and gave his 2-week-notice to the “firm” because, on a full-ride scholarship, Renee’s son would be making the same amount of money playing BB as he was making at the firm, and he’d rather play basketball. He explained this to his supervisor and, SHOCKINGLY, his employer agreed to match the BB scholarship. Her son’s salary was increased…so he stayed.

Some people [read: white men] have all the luck. Do you think a female giving notice to her employer because her scholarship was extended to play, say, volley ball would receive a raise? More like, don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out, accompanied by back-handed comments like: “She’s leaving to play volleyball?!! How stupid. She could have moved up the ranks [in ten years] if she just would have put in her time.”

Last year, Renee said she was going through a really difficult time because she got Covid and her Dad died. She said she felt so sick for so long that she routinely had anxiety before teaching any of her yoga, walking, and/or hiking classes because she didn’t think she would be able to get through them, physically. She asked herself, before each exercise session, “How am I going to do this?” Based on her description, it appears that the variant Renee originally contracted turned into Long Covid. Truthfully, I’m shocked after hearing this account because Renee is sooo active and the epitome of health, but Long Covid can strike anyone. Also, I started hiking with her group last winter, when she was allegedly suffering from the Long Covid side effects, and she seemed fine. She hid it pretty well.

Renee says she is much better now and adds “Everything works out in the end, you know.” Sarah, who joined us a few minutes ago, says, “That’s debatable.” Sarah is so funny. I add, “Um, unless you die...”

-Renee is so great…but the jury’s still out on her husband and sons. Some of her boys sound okay. Renee says, “Good talk today...it was nice talking to you, Ellen.

-I sign up for the interim hiking summer session - 3 weeks for $45

10:00-11:00-I’m close to inviting one of the women from my hiking group for coffee so I go to Undergrounds to see if this place will work out in the future. I order a Nitro and sit outside. There’s lots of seating, inside and out, and it’s not crowded on a Tuesday morning - this place will do. I listen to a podcast from What Next about the corrupt Oakland PD and Best of Both Worlds while I’m driving.

11:00-11:15-I pick up my pants from the tailors; then

11:15-11:30-call in an order for a breakfast burrito at Eat Real Cafe.

11:30-12:00-I stop by Home Depot because I need a new watering can - mine rotted and fell apart - but they don’t have any I like.

12:00-12:30-I pick up my order from Eat Real Cafe and head home.

12:30-2:00 - L. Is home and we talk about the fight she had with Heaven, her co-worker, at The Club. Apparently, a Club member requested that the front desk staff ID his nanny every time she picks up his kid. L. sent a text message to the Front Desk Girls group chat asking everyone to please ID the nanny, and Heaven went ape shit about it, stating the old classic: “That’s not how we do things here.” The kicker, you ask? Heaven put in her 2-week-notice last month. Why does she care?

2:00-3:00 - I go upstairs, eat my burrito, and watch Killing Eve. My body is starting to lock up after that hike.

3:00-5:00-More Killing Eve and I work on my bullet journal. This series is stupid. I “pull the pin” and never watch it again.

5:30-10:30-I lie down for “a minute”, but I don’t wake up again until 10:30. I’m either still jet lagged or I’m experiencing Long Covid symptoms from the B5 variant I contracted on my vacation.

10:30-1:00 - Downstairs and I put the finishing touches on my “master packing list”

-I take a photo of the dress and accessories I wore to The Junction for my currated closet project.

-I finally submitted my order to Walgreens for the photos I’ve taken of numerous outfits and I picked them up, along with my other vacation photos, a couple weeks ago. I have the time to put them in my special curated closet photo album so I cut some of the photos down to size - this task is somewhat laborious.

-I try on the hemmed pants that I picked up today. They fit.

1:00-2:30-I place, hammer, hang, all but two of the Greece-Italy pictures in the stairway.

2:30-3:30-Sunless tanning. Nighttime routine. Bed