Day 5 since I was injected with the J&J vaccine
The J&J vaccine causes blood clots…
Its official. The Johnson & Johnson vaccine causes blood clots, too. One in a million, to be exact, and all women. The CDC and FDA have recommended “a pause” in the J&J vaccine in light of these odds. Birth control pills, which cause blood clots in 1 out of 300 women, are still in full force and available for purchase. Of course, I find out five days after I was inoculated. Great. And I’m not out of the woods yet. I have to wait until Day 13 after the jab to determine if I‘ll survive, while other “experts” are saying blood clots may form as late as 21 days after injection.
Apparently, J&J and AstraZeneca are similar in that they use an adenovirus, a genetically engineered common-cold platform, to deliver “the goods”, i.e., pieces of the coronavirus, into the body. This triggers an immune response, antibodies are produced, and inoculation is achieved.
If you think of it like a pill, AZ puts Covid-19 inside a capsule and the capsule is a common-cold virus that gives chimps a sinus infection; J&J puts Covid 19 inside a human common-cold capsule (vector). After injection, both capsules dissolve and are absorbed in the body, just like time-released Mucinex or Tylenol Cold, except the AZ and J&J vectors can kill you. Maybe “the family company” should have stuck with the common-cold in mice…
The frozen vaccines – Moderna and Pfizer – use MRNA science instead, which consists of injecting instructions called “How to make a ‘spike protein’ “ [you know, like a You tube video??] into the immune cells. These instructions have to be frozen until a few hours before the jab. Once the immune cells figure out what to do, they get started and eventually hang their creation – the spike protein – for all to see, outside of their cell, where it can be admired by all. [“Look what I made!”] Except, if everything is working correctly, the new ‘spike protein’ is NOT admired but is, instead, viewed with alarm by our immune system who says, “Wait a minute. Who are you? You don’t belong here. Get out!”
Our immune system goes into red alert mode and starts making antibodies to protect the body from the evil ‘spike protein.’ In this scenario, there is no ‘vector’ , like with the AZ and J&J vaccines, to carry in the corona virus because the immune cells make the virus and our immune system responds accordingly.
Scientists can’t quite figure out why blood clots only make an appearance in the AZ and J&J vaccines, but I think I can hazard a guess. This is only my opinion, but I believe that in a minuscule number of people, the adenovirus ‘capsules’, i.e., vectors, are not dissolving, but are instead, attaching to platelets in the blood stream and causing blood clots, but not just any blood clots. The blood clots in this ongoing saga are brain blood clots (CVST). As the brain blood clots form, they cause a drop in blood platelets throughout the body because the platelets are clustering together in clumps [clots](Thrombocytopenia). In other words, CVST is a clotting disorder and Thrombo is a bleeding disorder and you almost never see these two disorders together, EXCEPT in the 6 women, all under the age of 50, who were recently administered the J&J vaccine.
Somehow, in these six women, the capsule shells [my opinion] were not absorbed by the body, but instead traveled through the blood stream, stopping by, on occasion, to chat with the blood platelets, but then staying indefinitely, like an uninvited guest who won’t leave. “The more the merrier” - blood clots formed and then eventually traveled to the brain, causing the death of one woman as a result. This phenomenon happened between 6 and 13 days after the jab and scientists say that’s because the body starts making Covid-19 antibodies around that time, BUT I don’t think it has anything to do with antibodies. It is my belief that this is the amount of time it takes for the vectors to latch onto the platelets and form a clot.
The J&J vaccine was “paused” and I don’t know what’s going to happen to me. I could stroke out at any time and I’m terrified. I should have taken my chances with the ‘rona.’
4/13/21. Tuesday.
8:30-9:00 – I set my alarm and I’m up, but I lie in bed for awhile, listening to Organize 365. Up and I go downstairs to say good morning to the animal. She’s asleep on the other couch and can’t understand why I’m up so early. I rub her tummy three times, she grabs her toy, and we go outside. She goes potty and we return inside – cheese for her, coffee for me. I go upstairs. I’m at 102.5 today – I shouldn’t have had those cashews after 11:00 p.m.
9:00-10:15 – Shower. Lotion. Covid-19 uniform. Light make-up. Today is an errand day, even though I run almost no errands these days, so I make sure the clothes and books for Goodwill are in my trunk.
The corner of my right eye is red - I try some Visine.
10:15-10:30 – I leave for my therapy session.
10:30-11:00 – Session. I’m still masking, because the medical personnel at the J&J vaccination site told me to wait 14 days until…what? I’m not exactly sure…
-At my car, I check my phone and see that my ex-husband, M., tried to text and call me. I text him back, asking if everything is okay, and when he responds, it is at this very moment that I learn that the J&J vaccine has been “paused” because six women have experienced blood clots and one woman has died. My stomach actually drops and I feel like I’m going to vomit. What if this happens to me? But, it’s been five days…it would have happened already, right?
There are a flurry of texts between my ex and I while he tries to talk me off the ledge. He’s actually texting because L. is scheduled for her J&J dose on 4/22 - I was going to take her – and he wants to make sure she doesn’t go. M. tells me that the women fell ill 6 to 13 days after they were injected!! This means I won’t know if I have a blood clot or I’m going to die for ANOTHER EIGHT DAYS! I’m extremely upset and I can’t breathe. Is it happening now? My ex is very kind and says the women were all younger than me and statistically the chance of getting a blood clot is 1 in a million.
I can’t believe this is happening. All of the research I’ve done indicates that J&J is probably the safest vaccine, except it’s not. I never would have chosen the J&J vaccine had I known this information…but it comes too late. So depressed…
11:30-12:00 – I drive to Goodwill and drop off my stuff, then go home
12:00 – 1:30 - L. is still asleep, but I wake her up to tell her the news. She already knows because she spoke with her Dad earlier. I’m panicking, but L. is unperturbed – I’m not sure she really cares about me. My eye is becoming increasingly red…is this a sign of a stroke? I ask L. to google stroke symptoms, but a red eye is not one of them. L. says if I’m that concerned I should just go to the doctor. I find this comment incredibly disrespectful and tell her so – can’t she show a little compassion? I’m scared! Also, she never volunteers to drive me to the doctor if I need to go.
I just want a little reassurance but maybe this is too much to ask of a child. I mean, as a parent, I’m supposed to be in control. L. wants me to leave her room, so I do. I sit on my bed and do nothing, paralyzed…
If something did happen, I’m not sure I could rely on L. to take me to the hospital – she wouldn’t want to leave work. Also, she doesn’t seem concerned about me…just irritated. She’s really all I have…I feel very much alone…
From a practical standpoint, if I were to die or get sick today, or in the coming days, is there anything I need to wrap up? Spring semester is almost over at College No. 1 and the last two lectures for Specialty Class 1A need to be recorded, the Final needs to be updated. I have an important paper due in my French Cinema class and I haven’t finished watching Divines. The last Zoom meeting for my DE#2 class is on Friday and I have to attend in order to get the $2000 stipend. Is it worth it to cut out carbs at this point in time? Maybe I should just focus on enjoying myself over the next 8 days…but what if nothing happens and then I’ve gained 5 pounds?
I eat three of L.’s heart-shaped cookies.
If these were truly my last days on earth, what would I want to do? I guess nothing, really. I would go to Niagara Falls immediately – it’s on my bucket list and I’ve never been – but everything’s still closed (Covid) and it’s cold there, this time of year. Anyway, if I’m a ticking time bomb, shouldn’t I stay close to home?
1:30-2:30 – I fix myself a spinach salad with tomatoes, celery, and a boiled egg and read a Money Diary.
2:30-4:00 – Blog posts
4:00 – 6:00 - L. and I had originally planned to go to The Melting Pot in Thousand Oaks today, but the restaurant is closed due to Covid-19. Instead, we go to the Newhall Refinery. I order a poke bowl and two glasses of champagne and L. gets something?? The food is amazing!
-L. has a Zoom meeting for her Communications class so she logs in and I hold her phone while she drives to Starbucks for her “venti ice green tea, no sweetner.” The instructor seems nice, but there’s a dumb student in the class asking if they will actually use the book and what’s going to be on the upcoming quizzes. Come on – it’s the first day. It’s one question after another and he is holding up the entire Zoom meeting – the students just want to leave.
6:00-8:00 - Home and I am so exhausted. Is it from the stress of today? The fact that I went to bed so late? The J&J vaccine? If I take a nap, will I ever wake up again? I’m just sooo tired so I give in and lie down.
8:00-10:00 – Downstairs and I work on personal admin. I pay my annual life insurance premium – I can’t be late on that bill – and order coffee and razor blades from Walmart. Life goes on… I start putting together my last two lectures for Specialty Class 1A. I’m breaking the last chapter into 2 sections and it’s a real mess. Last year’s content and the PP slides need to be readjusted – what a headache.
10:00-10:30 – The video that L. prepared for my DE#2 class also needs to be posted to my Canvas sandbox so L. air drops it into the shell. Since she’s helping me with a work-related activity, I ask her to email me ALL the lectures I’ve recorded this semester for Specialty Class 1A. L.’s not happy about it, but she does it.
10:30-11:00 – Kitchen duty. I prepare my coffee for tomorrow.
11:00-11:30 – I read a Money Diary.
11:30-12:30 – I do an Insanity- Cardio Power and Resistance
12:30-1:00 – Recover. I have a glass of champagne and read Good Talk.
1:00-1:20 – I do a Kathy Smith Ab workout.
1:30-3:00 – Nighttime routine. I debate letting the dog sleep with me for comfort, but ultimately reject that idea. Typically, I lock my bedroom door at night. Should I do it now? What if something happens to me and L. can’t get in to render aid? I leave it unlocked.
I’m so anxious and depressed I can’t sleep so I have more champagne. This is going to result in a weight increase for sure…
My eye is throbbing.
Bed.