Day 6 - Mask mandate is rescinded in California
I finished this book today…
6/20/21. Sunday
6:00–8:00 - B. and I are up. I take my shower, have my coffee, and then walk up and down the 60 steps five to seven times, as I carry all of my supplies, food, suitcase, toiletry bag, pillow, bolster pillow, to the car. I think B. walked the same number of flights.
We stripped the bed, put the towels in a pile for J. and A. to wash, wiped down the kitchen and bathroom counters, and moved all of our items to B.’s SUV. We pack any leftovers/remaining food, take a last minute sweep, and leave. We are on the road by 8:00 a.m.
8:00-11:30 – B. wants to stop for lunch at Harris Ranch, but since today is actually Father’s Day, it is too crowded. The hostess said she could seat us in an hour, but that’s too long. Instead of eating here for lunch, B. drives to a nearby McDonalds and gets a…quarter pounder??? I can’t recall. I haven’t had true fast food other than a Wendy’s Frosty and/or baked potato once, last year. Since I’ve had nothing to eat all day, I ask B. for a medium fry.
11:30-2:30 – Driving
I finish Estranged.
This is an excellent memoir [author is Jessica Berger] about an abusive father and an enabling mother who does virtually nothing to help her daughter when the father is either screaming or beating her. In between the beatings, the Dad seems like a nice guy. Notice I said, “in between the beatings” - what an asshole! There are two occasions when her father screams at her in front of her college roommates - they are shocked and terrified.
One day, as the parents are dropping Jessica off at an apartment where she is visiting yet another college friend, her mother accidentally locks the keys in the car. Somehow, a crow bar miraculously appears in her Dad’s hands, and he repeatedly strikes the driver’s side window, screaming, until he shatters the window. All of this happens on a public street.
Jessica’s career/education never really takes off - she’s in the Peace Corps, then backpacking through Napal, then working in non-career trajectory jobs - and she routinely boomerangs back to her parents’ house, which she uses as a launching pad of sorts. Surprise - the abuse begins anew every time.
To their credit, her parents pay for everything, are encouraging [when they’re not screaming], and open their home to Jessica any time she needs a place to stay. As the reader, it is frustrating to see Jessica return repeatedly to the family home, in the midst of this abuse. I found myself thinking, God, grow up already. But that never happens. Jessica is incapable of supporting herself until she finds, yes, another man, to take care of her. Perhaps it’s not fair to say, but it appears that as soon as she secures an engagement, she decides she will never see or speak to her parents again. And she never does. There are email exchanges on occasion, with her parents begging and pleading with her to rekindle the relationship, but it’s been 7 years. Jessica wrote her brothers off, too.
In the end, Jessica discusses how this was her only option if she wanted to preserve her emotional/mental health. Jessica is confident she did the right thing, but there is something that is not discussed in the memoir…Jessica is still going nowhere. After several years of in vitro, she and her husband have a child and she teaches one creative writing class. This is it. She’s 40-something. I’m left wondering what would happen if she and her husband ever divorced? Would Jessica then decide to end the estrangement? She has never made it on her own…Highly recommend.
2:30 – 5:00 - Home!! B. helps me put everything in the garage, then leaves. I water my plants immediately. L. did a good job – there are no fatalities! I spend the rest of the time doing laundry, unpacking my food, toiletries, and other items, and cleaning out my insulated lunch bag. I also put away my non-perishables and go through the mail. I spend some time with the dog, of course.
5:00-6:00 – Other than the fries, I haven’t had anything to eat all day so I take a break and have a piece of my lasagna while I read a Money Diary. B. and I lived on my lasagna while we were in Tiburon and even after 5 days it still holds up.
6:00-7:00 – I’m exhausted and take a short nap.
7:00-9:00 – L. surfaces and we each talk about our adventures over the past week.
9:00-10:00 – I take the dog for a walk, then hang my laundry.
10:00-10:30 – Kitchen duty and I ready my coffee for tomorrow morning.
11:00-12:30 – I do a Kathy Smith Ab workout and an Insanity Max Interval workout. I do my best, but have to tap out several times and recover. This might be related to the 3-hour bike ride B. and I took around Angel’s Island yesterday.
12:30-1:00 – It is sooo horrible to eat this late, but I have my leftovers from Perry’s, telling myself that I’m technically still on vacation and will go back to my regimented eating schedule tomorrow. We’ll see what the scale has in store for me tomorrow morning.
1:00-2:00 – Nighttime routine. Bed.