Day 25-BA5 takes the lead

*Hiked the Ventura Botanical Gardens today…the weather was perfect…*

7/16/22. Saturday

The Red Zone is a great memoir!

The author, Chloe Caldwell, is still single, as her female friends, one by one, abandon her via marriage. At first, Caldwell is alarmed and anxious by this trend, but by the time she is 29/30, she has largely accepted her role as a writer and single woman in a society that prioritizes couples, although one day, she comments to her roommate, “I am so sick of doing everything myself.” Here, here, sister!

Caldwell settles in to being the “last one standing”, as it were, and single life slowly becomes a cornerstone of her identity…until, that is, very early in her memoir, Chloe meets Tony, a musician and master keyboardist, and his 6-year-old daughter, Sadie. By all accounts, Tony is a decent, caring man and good father, who happens to loves Chloe.

The rest of the memoir [250 pgs] chronicles how her relationship with Tony and his daughter unfolds. Pivotal turning points in their relationship, however, are marred by her severe periods and PMS.

As we get deeper into the memoir, the reader learns that Chloe’s entire life – not just her relationship with Tony - is dominated by heavy, painful periods, cystic acne, rages, and diarrhea. As someone who has had painful periods and “menstrual diarrhea” MY ENTIRE LIFE, I can totally relate. Chole literally bleeds all over everything, but she talks about it openly…this is both disgusting and refreshing.

Unfortunately, her periods, already horrible, become even worse when she hits 30. Certainly, the pain is still unbearable, but Chloe’s PMS has degenerated into “split personality” mood swings and paranoia, at the very moment when she is embarking on a new relationship with Tony and his little girl. The rest of the book is Chloe’s quest to find out why this is happening and if treatment exists, for her sake, but also for the sake of her relationship with Tony.

Chloe’s quest begins with a history of “the period.” This chapter is entitled, The Linen Closet (pgs. 33-79), and details interviews she conducted with multiple women about their first period and how they dealt with it. I loved this section – it was so interesting!

Another section consists of responses from numerous women to the question: What stupid thing did PMS make you cry about? This section is fascinating…and disturbing. Reading all of their responses, I am finally, acutely aware of how PMS truly f—ks up our lives.

Part 2 of the book addresses even more period symptoms, but the focus has returned to Chloe. She discusses the ravaging, untreatable cystic acne she has to endure, but on a positive note, also recounts that she is more amorous in the days leading up to ovulation. This causes Tony to download the app Female Forecaster. Every month, he enters the dates of Chloe’s period into the app to find out when her sex drive is at it’s peak. It’s sexist, but, in a weird way, kind of sweet:

“Whenever I started to be symptomatic and was denying it, Tony would hold up his phone like a protection device, saying, ‘I know you’re in the red zone right now! The app says I have to be strong and like a rock for you today.’

This is where the book got it’s title.

In my day [I know this sounds incredibly old, but recall that I’m Generation X], we didn’t talk about any of this. Now, PMS has a new name: PMDD or Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. PMDD arrives at “reproductive age” and was added to the list of depressive disorders in the DSM4.

Of note, Chloe is also subject to rages. She discovers that her PMDD symptoms began 7 to 10 days before her period and her period lasts another 5 days, thus enabling her to have just TEN days of normalcy, before the cycle starts all over again. She has constant fights with Tony that don’t seem to make any sense and usually involve paranoia and jealousy (hers). It’s very disheartening and Chloe is forced to go on anti-depressants – she has no other choice. She starts a course of Zoloft, faints after the first dose, and gives up on the idea entirely.

The rages continue and Chloe has to do something…so she makes an appointment with a PMDD specialist who prescribes Prozac and an alternative diet to address her symptoms. A few weeks later, it’s as if a switch has flipped, and Chloe starts to feel much better, with a more positive outlook on life. Her rages and depression subside eight days into the Prozac.

In Part 4, Chloe is doing well and her relationship with Tony has improved because her PMS and PMDD symptoms have also improved. Strangely, this section is all about the devastating effects of “divorce.” It is intimated that PMDD might be the root cause of many divorces.

The book culminates with Part 5. In this section, Chloe attends a PMDD convention that she’s been looking forward to for many months and she also holds a 2 to 3-hour seminar on the last day. Although she is experiencing PMDD and PMS symptoms, she is able to muscle through thanks to the Prozac and the tips and tools she learned from her PMDD doctor.

The convention is a success and, upon her return, Chloe asks Tony to marry her. They become officially engaged, which is where the memoir ends.

I loved this book! Highly recommend.

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8:30-9:30-First day without a headache and I’m feeling much better. The dog starts licking my hand - that’s my cue to get up - so we go downstairs. I take her outside so she can go potty, then cheese for her. I water a few of my plants and unpack the Walmart items that arrived yesterday.

10:00-11:00- I bring my coffee upstairs, jump in the shower, and ice my eyes. Lotion. I put on a one-piece bathing suit, shorts, and a T-shirt, then finish packing my beach bag.

11:30-12:00 - Before I leave, I take the time to superglue brackets to the back of several frames that I purchased from Home Goods, and weigh them down with books. I leave.

12:00-1:00-Driving. I eat the toast that I purchased from Eat Real Cafe yesterday, while listening to a podcast from Through Line on neoliberalism. After the episode ends, I switch to the new season of Someone Knows Something about abortion providers who are being assassinated in Canada. Excellent and distrubing podcast.

1:00-2:30 - I arrive at the Ventura Botanical Gardens and hike the tiered mountain. The weather is perfect and the views are incredible - it’s a great day!

2:30-3:00-I leave and drive to Harbor Cove, my favorite beach in the whole world. Oh no! - there is absolutely no parking! I circle the parking lot repeatedly for 20 minutes - I even go three miles deep because I’m willing to walk - but there is not ONE, SINGLE parking space. It’s such a beautiful day and I really wanted to go to the beach! I’m so dejected [insert sad-face emoji here]. I will NEVER go to Harbor Cove on a weekend again.

3:00-4:00-Driving. I eat my salad and some toffee peanuts on the way home.

4:00-5:00-I drive directly to my community pool, across the street, and lay out. It’s boiling out here! The beach would have been perfect. I’m still listening to Someone Knows Something.

5:00-5:30-I eat the last of my ground turkey pasta, poolside.

6:00-11:00 - Home and I take a nap, but end up sleeping for FIVE hours. This is a massive amount of sleep for a NAP. I guess I’m still recovering from BA5?? Or another bout of Long Covid? Could this really be jet lag? I’ve never felt like this after one of my international trips….

11:30-12:45-L. surfaces from work and an outing with her friends at a Japanese restaurant in Sherman Oaks. We talk about how her new job is going in “Membership”, at The Club [she just started] and I ask L. if she’ll put air in my bike tires, which she does.

1:00-1:15-I do a 10-minute, Insanity Max-Ab workout; and

1:30-2:00-I try to do a 30-minute, Insanity Max-Sweat workout…I can’t seem to muster up the energy and tap out after 15 minutes. What is wrong with me?

2:00-4:00-bullet journal

4:00-4:45-Nighttime routine. Sunless tanning and I paint my nails. Bed

Day 26-BA5 takes the lead

Day 24-BA5 takes the lead